why have my posts been so negative lately.

I am yearning to see the bright side of things right now but the grieving has started and I have not yet departed. I have not realized how hard this is going too be till I realized how much I love each and everyone of you that I know here at camp and withing eXplore. cherish every moment that you can when your with those you love and hold dear to you. for they will not always be there. I heard someone say that life has chapters and you in an attempt to finish the book need to turn pages. This is by far the hardest page I have had to turn in my life.

Lately I have been bottling things up because I do not know how to approach people about grieving, instead I have been using music and photography as a way to relieve myself of the pain that I am going through.

Dang I really dislike writing posts that are really negative, and not so happy. I wish that I could have something happy change my attitude towards what is going on in my life right now so that you all could hear something good about how I am feeling right now. I am so horrible with relationships, super blunt and un-confident not knowing what to do and what to talk about besides serious things. I only like talking to people about serious things with people and this is why I am very shy around people I do not know much.

I leave for a trip to Olympic national forest for a week to lead some kids with Timo down the shore. It will prove challenging but I know I will grow from it and that God will reveal himself too me.

Anyway I should head to bed and stop typing my random and non understandable thoughts.

With love from a dear friend, Jason.